Finding Peace


Just a nod to say, “Hey.”
I went to visit some old friends today.
Not many people understand why I always find the time to veer out of my way to give them a nod, but these horses once helped me hold it together.
It was a different time, in a different place, at a different stage of life.  We were living in an apartment above a barn while we were building our house.  I had just undergone a second surgery to treat endometriosis.  (I’m afraid you’ll have to Google it if you want the dreary details.  I don’t like talking about it anymore.)  We’d already been through several miscarriages but remained commited to take whatever measures necessary to build our family.  I was on fertility drugs.  It was an emotional, frightening and difficult time in our lives. There were more than a few moments that I think we both believed I had truly lost my mind.  Hormones do that.
This majestic team of Belgians lived just down the road.  I passed them every trip into town and then back again.  There was something about their beauty that mesmerized me.  I would often pull to the shoulder of the road just to watch them.  Their muscled outlines, their playful spirits; they intrigued me. They were strong and powerful, built to pull heavy wagons and bred for work.  Yet there was an ease and grace about them that held me captive.  The protective stand of a mother next to her foal, the sunlight bouncing off a bright mane as they ran, the gentle nuzzle of that big, soft nose — I never tired of watching them.

They calmed the chaos.  They brought me peace.  They reminded me that there was amazing beauty in strength.  They reminded me that even during the toughest trials, there was something to be said about putting a chin up, facing the sun and carrying on with grace.  The knowing twinkle of their eyes and soft whinny could coax a smile from me, even on the days I only wanted to cry.  They reminded me of a bigger picture, a bigger plan.  They reminded me that life was going on all around me and it was beautiful and awe inspiring.  Around them, I was always filled with a sense that it didn’t matter what the future brought, everything really would be okay.

And it was.  


As if to say, “You’re Welcome.”
The fertility drugs didn’t work for us but the lesson I learned still resonates deep within.  Life may get hard and we don’t always get what we want; but on any given day, all we have to do is step away from the chaos to find beauty, to find strength, to find peace, to find grace.  That’s what these horses did for me and it’s hard to articulate how grateful I am for them.  They gave me everything I needed to get through that difficult time and many more.  They taught me what I needed to learn to build a great life.
Thank you, Mac McIntosh and the Lazy M Ranch for helping to fill my world with so much beauty.  These horses mean a great deal to me, as I’m sure they do to many others.


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